Friday, 27 July 2012
The following is my self psychoanalysis for for today. It came back to me that when i was a child at school we had craft classes among other subjects. The assignment of the day was to simulate a family of our creation composed of a father, mother and children "at least two i imagine" . These members of this family were to be cut out of old magazines or catalogues from our home and be glued on a cardboard. So i came out with a collage. I must have been working all by myself at home. I showed that finished collage to my craft teacher who rebuffed me saying "we dont want that in here". I remember not understanding why she had said that. So after school i went home and showed my picture to my mother telling her what the teacher had said. My mother looked at my collage and said "well no wonder", without telling me why. I dont know how i managed to figure it out, but i looked at my work and can remember to this day that the women had a deep decolletage but it could have been later that i found that out. It was stored in my mind all that time. What puzzles me still is how would i figure out all by myself without being told why it was the decolletage that made these women react the way they did and not the color for example or something else.
Despite that this happened a long time ago i still see the taboo expressed but differently nowadays regarding breasts. Now breasts are not silenced but they are often humoured from what i can tell from recent TV shows. So from silence we evolved to laughter; i wonder what's next. What is the stage after laughter...I look at my adult drawings and just can tell that the breasts i draw are enormous or at least emphasized in comparison with the bodies they belong to. No doubt all that time i was rebelling and i found that out just recently. My guess is that when things are exaggerated there is a reason for it. The mind wants to compensate for the imbalance it went through. It is not a fixation for breasts i have, but a need to readjust misinterpratation...memories of misinterprations are welcome to be shared...